1984

My mom had a live in boyfriend between husband one and two. He came into my moms life by cheating on his wife and he exited in much the same way. While she lived in the small rented trailor by the highway with Ferlin she worked as a nanny for a family with three small children.

One weekend Mom and Ferlin were going to drive to the beach and visit my sister Margo and her family. It was about a three hour drive and I mentioned to my mom that she should take Marsha with her to visit aunt Margo and cousin DJ. DJ was only 10months younger than my Marsha.

Mom was quick to point out that Ferlin didnt like to travel with small children in his truck, but later I learned that they had taken a smaller child with them. Instead of taking her granddaughter with her to visit family my mother opted to take one of the children she babysat for instead. When I asked her about it she said, the childs mother had asked her to watch the little girl and she accepted the job at the last minute.

I said, "I thought Ferlin didnt like kids in his truck"? "Well they were paying me to take her with us", she said. "Oh, you would have taken Marsha if I paid you", I said. "Why do you have to be like that?", was her response to me.

I was very upset by what my mother did, but I am also thankful for the insight. It allowed me as a young mother to begin to see how much (or how little) my family and I meant to my mother.

Total Hip Replacement

If you have never sat in the waiting room at a free clinic before, you should try it sometime. It can be quite entertaining, just look it up on youtube. Speaking for myself, I am a people watcher. I enjoy sitting and conjuring up imaginary stories about the people I see. It’s just a silent game I play while I wait; maybe you have even played it yourself while you sit in the mall waiting for a friend. Just be careful not to form a judgment of someone based on what you see while you silently sit and wait for your name to be called. Remember all the others in the waiting area with you are in the same place as you, at exactly the same time as you are, and they are also waiting their turn to do just what you are waiting to do. My point is, you could be any of these people and they could be you one day.
Take me for instance, I may look like just an overweight middle aged woman sitting in the corner, wearing loose fitting pajama like clothing and waiting for my name to be called. Maybe I am sitting with a tall young man about 18 with dirty blonde hair an athletic build and his face buried in his laptop. I might be carrying a wooden cane I picked up at the flea market. One of those made of a branch with the knobby parts painted black. I might even be wearing my big puffy pink bedroom slippers. What kind of story would you imagine for me? Would you try to figure out what bad decisions I made that caused me to have to require the medical services offered only at the free clinic in my neighborhood?
Would you think that I live in a nice three bedroom house in a middle class housing development just up the street with my son who just started college last semester? Since I don’t have a child under the age of 18, I don't qualify for Medicaid and Medicare is for people 20 years older than me. I raised 4 children in that house my husband and I purchased in 1991. The 3 older ones are out on their own living their lives now. I work part time at HGTC and part time employees don't qualify for benefits like health insurance. I have been suffering with chronic pain in my thigh for the last 5 years it started a few months after my husband passed away in March of 2005. I have visited various ER's over the years looking for a doctor who would slow down and listen to me, but until now not one has ever cared enough to really listen to what was happening to my body. Every doctor I have ever told my story to has always just written me a prescription for pain medicine and sent me home without a diagnosis, over and over again. They just say have you had this checked before? Yep that’s it, here’s your drug prescription. I think they believed that was all I was after, a prescription for pain killers. Most were happy to oblige.
I called the Friendship Clinic and made an appointment to be checked on a day when I knew the volunteering physician was an orthopedic specialist from Coastal Orthopedics. Dr. Haskins told me all I could do was take the pain medicine until I could get a hip replacement. It seems my arthritis was a result of a malformed hip socket probably since birth. I did some research and found out the surgery was about $30,000, just for the hospital bill. A feeling of great sadness and despair took over my daily routine. I have never felt so helpless and hopeless in my entire life. No matter which direction I looked, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. What is my next step? My application for Medicaid and disability was denied. I found out vocational rehabilitation did not help pay for surgery, they could only offer help getting me back into the workforce. My income was a little less than the total of my house and car payment, so I was desperate to get back to work. Yet I kept running into dead ends when searching for a way to get surgery. Our government system helps young women when they are bearing children, but no help is available for women over 40 until they reach age 65. I never realized how much our bodies break down during those 25 years. I had all but given up when Terri from the Friendship Medical Clinic called to tell me she had found a hospital willing to donate their facility and a physician willing to let me make payments.
That phone call changed my life in so many ways. I went from feeling 70 yrs old. I felt like an old crippled up grandma at the age of 45. I would regularly sweat, shake, get nauseous, and experience rapid heartbeat and high blood pressure just as a reaction to the pain. After Terri called me and I stopped crying I began to feel like a woman on a mission. All from just that one encouraging phone call. Somehow knowing there was hope gave me a newfound strength and energy I thought I had lost forever. God has always taken care of me and I know he is an on-time God, but I have to admit I was running low on faith after living with the knife stabbing pain for 5 years. In his time God came in the form of a phone call from an angel at FMC.
Surgery was scheduled at Conway Medical Center with Dr. Paul Ramsey from Coastal Orthopedics within about 6 weeks from the phone call. On September 22nd I met Dr. Ramsey and his nurse Nancy for my initial exam and consultation. I must say I have never felt such warmth and confidence during a medical appointment in my life. I left feeling like they really cared about me and understood about making me feel less pain. I believe they truly wanted to help me get back a more productive life. Thanks to the clinic I was experiencing medical care not usually afforded to patients without insurance. Us poor folks don't get treated the same as insured folks.
My late husband was my second husband, I was married at age 17 and my first husband was electrocuted at work and as a result his father was killed and my young husband had to undergo surgery to remove both of his legs below the knee. This landed us, at a very young age on Medicaid. I will never forget going to the pediatrician with my young child and sitting there wondering why all the people in the waiting room were being called in to see the doctor before us, even though most of them arrived after our appointment. We were not drunks or drug addicts, or too lazy to work, we were just victims of life. Things happen in life sometimes that we cannot control or predict. Life just happens to us whether we want it to or not. Sometimes bad things happen to innocent people, he was only 21. (back to my story)
A month later I was at Conway Hospitals Joint Replacement Center getting treated like a queen. I was in surgery and recovery until around 2pm. At 4pm that same afternoon, I was helped out of bed by well trained staff and encouraged to take my first steps on my new porcelain hip. I imagine it has a polished white finish with little pink roses painted on each side. I had surgery on Monday October 4th and went home with of one of my dearest friends on Wednesday afternoon. A Physical therapist came to my friends house twice to show me exercises and proper procedures for moving around after my surgery. Five days later I went back to my house to take care of my daily life (a little slower at first).
It has been 2 weeks since my surgery and I try not to do too much. I want to do all the activities I have had on hold for the last few years. Like taking my grandkids to the zoo and not having to spend most of the day resting on the bench, or putting on my own socks. I can’t remember the last time I put on my pants from a standing position, or painted my toe nails myself.
12 days after surgery I walked about a block around the river walk at Conway Marina to be seated among the other guests at my nieces wedding. Then after the ceremony, with the help of my wooden flea market cane, I walked without pain, though somewhat tender (from sitting an hour in the folding chair) the same distance, back to my car. A few weeks before my surgery I spent the entire afternoon at a festival on the same river walk. Only this time I didn’t stop at the first seat I saw and spend the day planted there in too much pain to walk around and enjoy the festivities. I haven’t been back yet to thank Dr. Ramsey for all he has done for me and my family because my post-op exam is still a week away, but I look forward to showing him very soon how well I’m doing. Nor have I ever had the pleasure of meeting Terri from the Friendship Medical Clinic yet, but I want her, and all the other who made it possible to know If only a fraction of the blessing they have given me, comes back to them they will be forever swimming in an abundance of all things good.

Would you have guessed this just by looking at the woman in the corner? What about the person sitting next to her?