Sorry I have gotten so behind. I got a virus in my laptop and to make a long story short, I forgot where I had been blogging.
Anyhow, much growing has taken place within my self. Others may not notice it yet, but I have changed.
I have learned that your health is the most important thing you own. I have been limping around with pain in my thigh for more than 5 years now. After Roger died I bought a new car with the social security checks and joined Curves. Within a month the pain in my left side was so bad I had to stop going to workout at CURVES. At first I thought the work out was really working. Especially around my hips and waist. But after a few weeks of it getting worse and never easing up I decided to go to the clinic. It took awhile to get an appointment and turn in all the paperwork they require in order to process your application, but finally after about 3 months I was approved and had an appointment to see a doctor. Of course the appointment was a month away. After all the trouble I was sent for xrays and given the diagnosis of osteoarthritis and given pain pills. I went to several more appointments at different clinics and visited the ER of a few different hospitals only to hear the same old thing over and over again. A few months ago I got the clinic to let me see an orthopedic doctor who advised me to get a cane and a hip replacement.
Great! Not what I wanted to hear. So I went from sore muscle to wore out bones and joints. It only costs 39,000 dollars for the surgery so in my opinion I was back to square one. That kind of surgery is not something I could ever even hope to take part in. After a few months of walking around with a cane, dreaming of a job that did not require me to stand or walk and letting myself get more and more down, I got an idea. Maybe there was some organization or fund to help people in my position. I have worked since I was 14. I have a good education, a good car, a home with a mortgage. I have learned in my 47 years that there is always someone else who has stood exactly where you are, no matter where you find yourself at. So I decided to ask around. Finally after I was at the end of my rope I received a call of encouragement. Terrie at the clinic called and said she had worked out the surgery and physical therapy and was just waiting to hear from a doctor that may be willing to let me make payments for his services.
That was two days ago. After five years and 4 months it seems things may begin to get better. I have never felt so helpless and hopeless before in my life. Dont get me wrong, I am far from a bubbly and chipper person (I am very laid back and reserved), but I have always been able to figure a way out of my low points in life. I ...
[sorry I need to watch that word "I". I also know that I am not in charge of my life, there is a higher power. Prayer has kept me and my family fed and sheltered for many years. Although that is a whole nuther story for another time I just wanted to give credit where credit is due].
Back to where I was before.
No matter what problems and obstacles have come my way in the past, the solution has always been clear and achievable before. But my health, well I have never had this issue come up before. I have always been physically able to do what I pleased. Sure I tote a few extra pounds, but everything has always worked the way I wanted it to until 5 years ago. Ive heard 40 was over the hill and now I believe I understand. All the abuse and neglect I have put my body through is becoming evident now as I realize my limits and experience the life of a person who has physical limits. It took me long enough to see a light at the end of this tunnel. Surgery and recovery will be tough I know, but afterwards when I am well things will be different.
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